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There is probably no greater disagreement in the HP world than that of shipping. Who deserves Hermione more? Harry, or Ron? No agreements, or middle ground has ever been reached on the subject, and even after JKR moves her mighty hand across the page setting in stone the final verdict, there will be disagreements still.
One of the major things each side has against the other are the bursts of anger and mistreatment that Hermione endures from each, and each of them do get angry and mistreat her. Why then am I so much more willing to forgive Harry his trespasses? The answer lies in two questions: Which is worse? And which is correctable?
Harry’s Demons
In OoP for maybe the first time in the series, we see Harry getting angry. There were times when he lost his temper, and when he felt hurt and mad, such as at Malfoy’s consistent jibes, Snape’s unfair treatment, and that unfortunate incident in POA with Aunt Marge, but these are all more subconscious reactions rather than an overt outburst of any kind from Harry.
What we see in OOP is strong anger at what has happened to him followed by, irritability, quick temper, intense hatred, and all the negative emotions and connotations that go along with it. Some have berated Harry for being arrogant and short tempered, throwing tantrums, whining, bullying his friends, and drastically changing, or being out of character.
Actually if you consider Harry’s past, along with what just happened to him, he is acting in a perfectly normal way.
First we need to understand why Harry never showed his anger before. Harry grew up in an abusive environment. He was physically, mentally, and emotionally abused from the very tender age of one. He lived in an environment of bullying, neglect and shame. Shame forced on him by the Dursleys. He was and is made to feel shameful of his parents, especially his father. He is made to feel shameful of himself. No value is placed on him as a person. He is made to sleep in a cupboard, and wear old hand-me-down clothing that does not, nor ever will fit. He will never have a birthday, or a real present, or get anything he wants, or that might give him pleasure. He will never receive something that can be his, and therefore find some intrinsic value. He only receives the minimum of bare essentials to stay alive.
These early years are very important in our social development. This is when we begin to form our perceptions of the world around us, and our place in it. Harry is taught to be shameful of his very being, that he is worthless, and inferior, and that there is something basically wrong and uncorrectable about him.
There are two basic patterns that people fall into when they are shamed. In the shame-shame cycle, the individual feels shame, then are ashamed of that shame, and so forth. They internalize this shame and it feeds off itself until the individual develops a self-hate and extreme introversion.
Then there is the shame-anger cycle, where the individual feels anger about the shame, and shame about the anger. This too feeds on itself building up until it terminates in an outburst and anti-social acts.
In the first four books, Harry falls into the first cycle, and internalizes everything that happens to him. The Dursleys encourage this by punishing him severely every time he acts out, asks questions, or tries to participate in their family in any way. Reiterating with every year and every lie to hide what they call his abnormality that what he is, is unacceptable, shameful, and despicable.
We see the evidence of his cyclic tendencies in the first four books. Harry wonders that anyone would think him anything other than a boy when Hagrid tells him he’s a wizard. He is very surprised to hear that he is famous and extremely embarrassed by the positive attention he receives. He feels that he is unworthy of it. He worries that the Sorting hat is going to tell him that it has all been a mistake and he must leave. He worries that Snape hates him before he has any evidence of the sort. He worries that he will make a fool of himself on the broomstick in front of Malfoy. He worries that everything that happens around him is his fault.
This is not an arrogance, nor a proof that Harry thinks the world revolves around him. It is a very normal reaction to his internalized feeling of inadequacy in the world. In his mind, everything that happens that’s wrong, he has somehow brought about, because he is fundamentally wrong. Things that happen that are positive are someone else’s doing since he is unworthy to help the world, despite his efforts to try, and he is on his own in anything he does as he is unworthy to receive help from any source. He does not believe he deserves the fame and admiration that he is receiving.
Harry voices his fears of insufficiency when he gives the following reply to Hermione’s praise at the end of Book one.
“Harry – you’re a great wizard, you know”
“I’m not as good as you,” said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him. (US hb ed pg 287)
He is never able to take a compliment and internalize it in the same way as a negative comment. He always has to fight that instinct that has been drilled into him since he was young, that he is wrong, deviant, unworthy.
This explains Harry’s anxiety to prove himself, not to the wizarding world so much as himself, which is an infinitely more difficult task. Harry has to tame his demons every single time he faces a new task. This is not arrogance, nor fameseeking, but a terrible product of his abuse that he is trying to overcome.
When Harry wins his first Quidditch match he feels as though he finally did something to deserve the attention he was receiving. But that feeling is short lived. Even in his sanctuary, the wizarding world, there are those that force that same abuse onto him.
Snape is a major contributor as he does everything in his power to force those old feelings of inadequacy on him during his classes, and whenever they interact. Book two sets him back again emotionally, when Lockhart instills a deep shame into Harry for his fame, the one thing he had that was his. All his inferences that Harry had done nothing to deserve it only deepened his feelings of unworthiness. When the school suspects someone of wrong doing, Harry immediately feels targeted as the culprit, though in most cases the students did target him; he is fundamentally wrong, and therefore must be in the wrong.
Book three helps to restate to Harry that he is inadequate, as he was unable to save Sirius. He is so nervous about himself, that he is unable to perform the spell that he had the ability to do. When Harry realizes he is the one who conjures the patronus, and gains the confidence he needs, he does so spectacularly producing a strong and effective protection for himself and his friends.
Book four shows us Harry is still exceedingly embarrassed with publicity, and still maintains the shame about his fame. Rita helps to deepen that shame by excluding Cedric and bringing about the taunting he receives from a lot of the school. He cannot fight this any more than he could fight the Dursleys when he was a child, and he must internalize the continued abuse to add to his cycle of shame and despair.
Everything culminates when Cedric dies, and Harry goes through another heightened form of abuse and terror.
Before this event, Harry’s reaction to any anger that he might feel was to stifle it. To accept that it was, and never try to better things or resolve these issues, because he deserved this treatment. Even when he’s protesting to himself, and his close friends, about the treatment he receives, he will never try to amend it on his own. He rarely speaks out about his feelings, whatever they are, and his outward reactions to things that happen around him, are almost non-existent.
There are occasions that Harry does show what he’s feeling, his passion to save the wizarding world, his euphoria at Quidditch, his concern for his friends, his fear at the occurrences of evil around him, but most of his life is spent locked behind a very stiff poker face, giving away nothing of his internal feelings, and asking nothing from those around him. In fact, the only emotion that consistently brings a reaction from Harry is when he is feeling frustrated and unable to do what he knows needs to be done.
Book one illustrates this the night he decides to go for the Stone. He totally ignores the comments from both Ron and Hermione as he’s explaining things to both them and himself. He’s pacing, agitated, and resolving to go and retrieve the Stone himself. Book three illustrates this same point when he is trying to save Sirius, and talking to Fudge and later Dumbledore. Book four is when he’s most vociferous about things, though only to Hermione, when he is faced with the tournament, and Ron’s abandonment.
All these times, Harry is feeling more frustration than anger. He speaks out to Hermione and Ron, sometimes raising his voice, but never actually yelling at them. Rather, he yells to them, about the things that are bothering him. When he does get angry, such as the Firebolt incident, he remains quiet. The silent treatment that he maintains with her probably hurt, but at least he wasn’t throwing insults her way every two seconds, and he made up with her right away when he got the broomstick back. He admits to himself, that she was acting in his best interests, and for his own good.
The night Voldemort is reborn was the most traumatic one Harry had to date. He witnessed the cold blooded murder of his classmate, was physically harmed, and almost murdered himself, after a night of more mental torture. When he came back to Hogwarts, he was in a dissociative state of numb denial, and shock. He never really started to deal with these emotions until the summer in book five.
When we first are reacquainted with our hero, he seems immediately different. He shows all signs of (PTSD) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD occurs when individuals experience extreme trauma, whether psychological or physical. The disorder interferes with trust, emotional closeness, communication, responsible assertiveness, and effective problem solving. It causes the person to feel irritable, on-guard, easily startled, worried, or anxious; unable to relax, socialize, or be intimate without being tense or demanding.
They could have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, have trouble with nightmares, trauma memories, flashbacks, and experience feelings of threat and vague danger. This brings about difficulty concentrating, listening, making cooperative decisions, and struggles with fear and anger.
Having been victimized and exposed to rage and violence, survivors often struggle with intense anger and impulses that usually are suppressed by avoiding closeness or by adopting an attitude of criticism or dissatisfaction with loved ones and friends. Intimate relationships may have episodes of verbal or physical abuse.
In the first weeks and months following the traumatic event, survivors often feel an unexpected sense of anger, detachment, or anxiety in intimate, family, and friendship relationships.
I’ve outlined the PTSD symptoms in great detail, because I believe it shows why Harry’s behavior seemed so out of character, or different from what we are used to. His emotions are released outwardly more often than inwardly, and for the first time, we see him crying, yelling, protesting his treatment, and standing up to his bullies.
He shows all the symptoms having nightmares that encompass both what happened this year, and in his past, including his parent’s murder. He has problems with the flashbacks, and guilt, feeling that he’s responsible for Cedric’s murder. He shows all the symptoms, quite honestly, and I’ll only detail two more.
The anger, and irritability, disables Harry this year not allowing him to think rationally or cooperate with his peers. He shows this anger and rashness consistently throughout the year. The trauma and stress of the situation he went through jolted him out of the shame shame cycle he’d been stuck in and forced him into the anger shame cycle. This causes him to go over and over in his mind all those things he is made to feel shameful of before, and brings up everything in the past for him to feel angry at. All the things he went through his first four years at Hogwarts whirled through his mind, and he finally was able to feel the anger at these incidents. He tells us himself that he mulled over everything the last month when he first arrives at Grimmauld Place. His anger toggles between being angry at himself and his shame, to being angry at others, lashing out at his loved ones, and those closest to him, causing difficulties in all his relationships.
To avoid these relationship problems, the survivor needs a strong personal support network to cope with PTSD while maintaining or rebuilding family and friend relationships with dedication, perseverance, hard work and commitment. The participants must share their feelings honestly and openly with respect and compassion, while infusing playfulness, spontaneity, relaxation, and mutual enjoyment. The survivor needs this relationship to serve as an antidote to the feelings of isolation, depression, and feelings of guilt, failure and alienation.
Harry cannot retaliate against his abusers, and his anger will not stay inside him any more. Relationships suffer, and the closest ones suffer the most. He therefore lashes out at those closest to him. This happens to fall mostly on Hermione. She is the one who is by his side, and helping him through. She is, or seems to be, the sole pillar of strength, willing to help him during this time. The Weasleys are all occupied with the Order and their family. Sirius is occupied with his own personal demons. Dumbledore is occupied with Harry’s physical safety and the Order. Ron doesn’t seem to know how to handle Harry’s new outbursts, and starts avoiding him, remaining uncharacteristically silent during his fights with Hermione. Ginny is likewise busy with her dating and hanging out with her family, and though she doesn’t actively avoid him, she doesn’t seek him out to spend time with him either. This is not new, as she has never been included in his close circle of friends before anyway. Everyone else seems to be too occupied with Voldemort’s return and the problems at Hogwarts to help him. And the majority of the school, even some of his dorm mates and teachers insinuate that he’s lying about his experiences. This drives home the shame anger cycle, as if it were Harry’s fault all this is happening, and that he deserves it.
Even worse, they isolate him, and he is forced to try and deal with all these feelings, this guilt, this depression, and this anger on his own, with no support system whatsoever. Only in Harry’s case, the threat and danger are not over, and are very real. This was a very dangerous position to put him in. Anger and hatred are Voldemort’s tools, and Voldemort uses them against Harry and the Order while Harry is left fighting this battle against himself trying desperately to reach out to others for their belief and trust in order to help him believe in his worth.
When Harry finally gets reunited with the only support system he’s ever known, they treat him as a deviant, suspecting him of wrongdoing, telling him he is unaccomplished and unworthy to be there. This is done by his further isolation, disregarding his past acknowledged accomplishments, disbelief in his statements, locking him away with remonstrations for defending himself, and threatening alienation from the wizarding world and further isolation. This is almost worse than the Dursleys’ treatment of him. Just when he needs their strength and love the most, they deny it him, albeit unintentionally. It doesn’t surprise me then, that he reacts with anger, and indignation. I’m only surprised it wasn’t worse.
Though Dumbledore shows his understanding at the end of OoP for Harry’s behavior, he absents himself from helping and supporting Harry through the immediate need, causing it to seem as if Hermione alone understands Harry’s need to yell, to fear, to cry, to be believed. She responds to him as she has always done. She supports him through everything, enduring his yelling and anger, his irrationality, and rash behaviors, with little to no protest.
She understands that he needs her, and her confidence in him to get through, and she instills in him that confidence at every chance she gets: at the first when she tells him she understands that he’s angry and that he has a right to be; when she constantly reassures him that she believes him, and he’s in the right; when he feels the need to rebel against Umbridge and her restrictions; when he makes irrational and dangerous plans to help others; and when he feels inadequate with Cho.
He is free to follow these outbursts and yells when things go wrong in his life. He yells about no one recognizing his accomplishments, his feelings of isolation, his frustration at not being able to do anything, no one believing him, and everything going wrong. He yells more to release these deep seated fears of others being right, that he is the one in the wrong, and the one causing and deserving all the problems, than because he’s angry with someone. Even with all these frustrations and insecurities beating at him, he only once yells at Hermione to belittle her, the outburst he has in the forest with the centaurs when he tells her she had a great plan after it went awry.
About half of all PTSD cases will go within six months of the events, while others can drag on for years and can dominate the sufferer’s life, sometimes deepening into depressions and mania.
Thank goodness Hermione is there for Harry. She has saved his life time and time again throughout the series, and once again, it is Hermione who saves Harry’s life here. She gives him the confidence he needs to continue and not sink down to despair, depression and mania. He could very easily have become suicidal, or started self-mutilating tendencies.
Every person he thought he could trust seemed to turn their backs on him. Ron distanced himself from Harry again this year. Even Hermione seemed to disbelieve Harry at the end of OoP when he is so desperate to get to the MoM. This is where we see him at his emotional worst. He is frantic, and looking to her for help, and his rock, his foundation, his one believer, says that she doesn’t believe him.
Harry is now put on the defensive. He releases the tension and frustration this causes, by once again yelling. He moves closer to her. He feels like shaking her. This is where his physical violence is most likely to come out…yet, it doesn’t. He shouts, he uses logic back at her, he yells, he glares at her, he points out his past deeds, he asks her to clarify her statements, he acts aggressively, and he agrees with her plan, and thanks her. He masters those emotions in the end. He never physically contacts her. He never even verbally attacks her. He never gives a barbed comment through the whole conversation. Even when he brings up how he’s saved her before, he doesn’t bring up the troll incident which has been her most desperate situation, but the dementors, when he saved more than just her.
I found, just one incident after they became friends where Harry was on the offensive with her. In the forest after they escaped from the Centaurs, the following scene occurs: “Smart plan,” he [Harry] spat at Hermione, keen to release some of his fury. “Really smart plan. Where do we go from here?” (US hb pg 759) This is a comment made in the heat of the moment, and all Hermione did to deserve it was to try and save him from torture, pain and possible death.
Hopefully Hermione will be there to help Harry till the end. If she were taken away from him, he might spiral down to the point of no return. Harry has proven he is strong. He faces a man’s burden, and does it with honor, every time he faces Voldemort. But he faces more difficult things within himself everyday.
He has now suffered yet another traumatic event with Sirius’ death. His feelings of failure and guilt will be triple what they were last year. He desperately needs that network of support now. Let’s hope that Dumbledore will understand and give it to him.
Harry’s anger and mean spirited behavior towards Hermione in OoP is at times despicable. R/Hr’s have used this as evidence that Harry doesn’t like, or suit Hermione as a love interest. But they rarely care to explore why he is acting this way, or to turn that same magnifying scruple on Ron’s treatment of Hermione.
I’ve detailed Harry’s anger and the reasons for it above. The PTSD and shame cycle were his driving forces for lashing out at his closest loved ones, i.e. Hermione.
Ron’s Demons
Ron’s motives are a little more complicated. He is driven mostly by his family, and his wish for recognition and success. Having grown up in a large family he tends to verbalize and show his emotions often. Being in the younger half of his family, he has a need to dominate, and control something in his life, to gain recognition and fame of his own, to be able to find his own sense of self and worth.
Ron is in a most uncomfortable situation, as he is not the oldest, not the youngest, not the smartest, and not the most athletic. All these positions have been taken by his other siblings, and even within his own group of friends. His two friends (Harry and Hermione) seem to outshine him in every way, and his family has produced accomplished individuals as well, leaving him no visible avenue to take in order to make himself stand out and be recognized. The Mirror of Erised shows us that this is Ron’s true desire, and it is an understandable position for him to have. The trouble is that his talents as yet lie undiscovered. He is not outstanding or remarkable in anything unless its that he’s remarkably average.
This leads Ron to feelings of low self-esteem, inferiority, jealousy, difficulty in regulating his anger, and inequality, which in turn drive his short temper, and caustic remarks to others. These are all classic symptoms and causes that lead to Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence is a control and domination issue that takes the form of both physical and emotional abuse.
Since he cannot dominate his older siblings, and he cannot compete with Harry, he falls back to try his domination over the least threatening of his group, Hermione, who is a girl, and a Muggle born witch. This is very bad because Hermione is a strong individual herself, and very accomplished in her own right.
We’ve seen Ron use these controlling behavior patterns against Hermione from the very start. He belittles her in their first year saying she’s bossy and horrible to compensate for his own failures and shortcomings in class. He points out how she hasn’t got any friends, but that he does, and that helps him to feel better and superior to her, however subconsciously he is stating it.
Nor does he stop with Hermione as his only target. He insults Neville (SS pgs-218, 272-3 also during the Yule Ball), Eloise Midgeon (Yule Ball), Malfoy (though that one is rather deserved every book really), Cedric (Both in PoA when he beat Harry in Quidditch, and GoF during the whole Triwizard tournament), Percy (during every book, but mostly in the fourth and fifth), Fred and George (most prominently in the first, fourth, and fifth books accusing them of stealing etc.), Snape (every book really), McGonagall (in the third book when Harry can’t go to Hogsmeade), and in truth, anyone who gets in the way of his plans, or feels threatened by in any way. That in and of itself, is pretty normal juvenile behavior, these people aren’t his friends, and most of his insults are done out of the range of the other person’s hearing.
Unfortunately when he and Hermione do become friends, the pattern continues. He constantly insults her intelligence, which he finds threatening, by belittling any of the subjects she feels strongly about (House elves, and SPEW, studying, and OWLS, just to name a few. These insults come in various times and places throughout the book, and it seemed too trivial to quote all of them considering the length of the essay already, but as I’ve been requested to prove these statements with textual support, I’ve given all the page numbers for every insult at the end of the essay.)
He is quick to get angry with her, even when what happened is between her and Harry, or her and another person. The Firebolt incident illustrates this point. The broom was Harry’s, and Harry was the one affected by it. Yet while Harry remains silent, Ron is the one protesting and insulting Hermione and her ideas and fears.
The Scabbers incident is the best illustration of his constant caustic remarks. There was no proof that Crookshanks ate Scabbers, but he still had a right to be angry with her. Yet he takes it further. He insults her and belittles her in front of their peers a number of times, first when Lavender is crying about her rabbit, and later in the Gryffindor common room, among others. And when Scabbers was found alive and unhurt, he still never apologized for their arguments and his rude behavior towards her when it was painfully clear, that Hermione had been innocent all along.
He insults her looks during the whole Yule Ball fiasco, and then tries to get her to go with him as a last resort. His whole treatment of her there is really deplorable. During the ball he insists that her date with Krum is filled with dubious motives. He tries to insinuate that she couldn’t interest him on her own, and that she is betraying Harry. When she finally storms away he is satisfied at having ruined her date, and her night of fun. Since he wasn’t having any himself, he didn’t want her to have any either, just one of the ways he was exerting his power over her.
The fight they have after the ball is nothing short of total manipulation. Their emotions were running so high and raw that physical abuse was almost imminent. It was good that Harry walked in, and Hermione walked out, or it could easily have escalated out of control. This is not cute or flirtatious behavior. This is dangerous precursory violence.
When he finally receives some recognition of his own right, the Prefect badge, and the Quidditch Cup, he does nothing to reconcile these feelings with Hermione. Rather he gets upset with her again, because she had not expected him to receive it, nor witnessed him earning it, though he does keep his temper in check, and we don’t see another outburst like on the night of the Yule Ball.
He never tries to reconcile his differences with Hermione either. He can never be the one who’s in the wrong. The Firebolt, Scabbers, the House Elves, among other things all demonstrate his unwillingness to bend over anything where she’s concerned.
None of these events by themselves add up to much, but taken together, they show a pattern of overall thoughtlessness, and jealousy controlled domination tendencies. His behavior and attitude towards her display these tendencies more than any one thing he ever says. Hermione is the victim of his abuse, because she is in Ron’s mind, the one he could more likely dominate. He cannot compete with Harry, nor with his brothers, but he feels he can with Hermione, maybe it’s because of her gender, or her heritage being Muggle-born, that he finds her the least threatening of the group.
Ron’s violent tendencies go farther than just verbal abuse. He is also physically aggressive to those around him. Every book features an incident or two where Harry and Hermione are holding him back from attacking someone, most of the time its Malfoy. Despite their efforts to keep him in line, he does actually make physical contact with others.
In book one he gets into a fight with Malfoy at the Quidditch match. He encourages Harry to engage in a wizards duel and suggests Harry just drop his wand and punch Malfoy in the nose. In book two he describes on the way to school how he’s going to beat Malfoy up again, he also starts to beat up Malfoy, but only gets as far as grabbing his robes before Professor Snape stops him.
Book three has him chaining himself to Pettigrew, even when he has a broken leg. He wants to assert his dominance over him to help himself feel better for having harbored him as a pet for so long. Book four treats us to Ron squashing, smashing and destroying both his and other people’s property when he’s upset. I’ve already stated my concerns about Ron’s behavior turning violent over the Yule ball incident.
During book five, he engages in several physical assaults with Slytherins, DA practice, and the MoM fight. The fact is, Ron is already physically aggressive. He also uses magic to try and hurt other people, (think slugs). His short temper doesn’t leave much room for his logic to keep him from hurting people.
Ron is still a teenager, and he has enough time to grow emotionally and build up more self-esteem, which will help him with his temper. However, his feelings of inferiority and need to dominate will never be solved until he finds his own accomplishments, (and he apparently needs something more than being good at chess, though he doesn’t seem eager to find it on his own at this time), and is able to befriend someone that he can feel superior to so that he doesn’t feel the need to exert control over them.
Now, Ron’s behavior is mostly subconscious. He never sets out to be mean to Hermione, and he is most likely totally unaware of the extent that he does so. But he does realize that he is mean to her, as does she. In OoP he says the following after she relents into checking their homework for them:
“Hermione, you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met,” said Ron weakly, “and if I’m ever rude to you again—“
“—I’ll know you’re back to normal,” said Hermione. (US hb pg 300)
His compliments to her are only given to get something from her, copying her homework, or when she does something for him at his request, in this case, going over his homework for him. Even when she’s trying to help him in this way, on her own, he rebukes her and tells her she’s being bossy, or pushy.
Conclusions
So, while Harry mostly treats her with the respect that she deserves, Ron is constantly berating her for her talents. Harry lashes out at her with angry statements when he is frustrated and restrained from doing anything about things happening around and to him. Ron lashes out at her with belittling statements when she accomplishes something, and he hasn’t.
The total attitude difference is the fundamental factor in my decision. Harry’s behavior is correctable. He will get past his hurts and continue to treat her in the same vein of overall respect that he has done. Ron’s behavior is uncorrectable. He will always feel the jealousy and inferiority around her that he feels now because she will not get less intelligent than she already is, and will continue to develop her talents.
The fact is that Ron’s attitude and behavior towards her is abusive, dominative, and unsuitable for a happy life together, whilst Harry’s attitude towards her is more supportive and encouraging and definitely suitable for a happy life.
So, while my biases, and favorites may show, I have supported them fully with real concerns and real problems, and real events. It’s not that Harry deserves her more, or that Ron doesn’t deserve her. It’s that Hermione deserves the encouragement and support that she so willingly gives out. And it’s Harry, not Ron, who is willing to give it back to her.
Ron’s insults to Hermione’s intelligence, values, opinions and work ethic all US ed hb;
SS pgs-106, 120, 154, 157, 166, 171-2, 183, 219, 229, 269, 276, 277, 278
CoS pgs-45, 84, 89, 95, 130, 147, 158, 160, 166, 174, 184, 211, 214, 227-8, 233, 234, 237, 250, 255, 285, 289
PoA pgs-57, 61, 98, 110-1, 129, 140, 145-7, 149, 164, 198, 225, 230, 232, 236, 249, 250, 252, 265, 274, 275, 290, 295, 315, 319, 326, 430, 433
GoF pgs-83, 139, 166, 183, 194, 198, 207, 218, 223-5, 236, 239, 249, 262, 364, 372, 374, 394-5, 399, 400, 404, 407, 411, 414, 421-3, 432, 434, 449, 481, 513, 523, 525, 539, 547-8
OoP pgs-76, 159, 183, 253, 255, 256, 289, 295, 325, 330, 353, 365, 378, 426, 451, 460, 461, 498, 501, 503, 539, 548, 573, 634, 660, 679, 681, 712, 715, 716
(all bold pages are insults to her face, all others are said when she can’t hear them)
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