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This story was written in response to a challenge on Portkey.org. The original challenge was to write a story in which the specific characters surfed the net and went to specified sites. I altered it a bit to fit my creative needs, and added the fans and shippers in as they came. All content that is paraphrased from the named websites is the property of their prospective authors, and not my words per say. I borrowed ideas from SugarQuill, Portkey, and SCUSA threads. I think its safe to say the shippers will recognize their prospective sites, and I always dedicated them to their specific ships in the story. I have to add that although my shipping preferences come through, I poke fun at ALL the ships, so I hope that you read this with a sense of humor.

Choosing a Portkey

By Innermurk

Harry, Hermione and Ron were creeping through the castle trying to make their way back to Gryffindor Tower before a teacher caught them.

“I really wish we had your invisibility cloak now, Harry,” whispered Ron as he peered through the darkness. “If Snape, or Filch catch us now, we’re as good as dead, forget expelled.”

“Shh,” Hermione hissed. A shadowy figure had just passed the end of the hallway, barely discernable from the surrounding darkness. They stopped, holding their breath and waiting. Shuffling sounds were heard, and panic rose in Harry as he realized that someone was also coming up from behind them. Harry’s heart was pounding so loudly, he was sure their pursuers would hear it, and that alone would give them away.

“No more,” he silently resolved. “No more wild night adventures.”

A door suddenly captured his notice and he tugged on his friends’ robes pointing towards the wall. Hermione mouthed something in the dark, but he couldn’t catch it. She grabbed his hand as he started to slide off towards the other side of the corridor. Putting her mouth next to Harry’s ear, she whispered, “Where are you going?”

He pointed again, squeezed her hand, which still lie encased in his own, and pulled her towards the door. Ron followed carefully, and they moved towards their only hope of escape. When he reached the door, he slowly turned the knob until he heard a soft click. Inching the door open, ever so slightly, he slipped one foot through, then his leg, arm, and torso. His head was still out allowing him to peer down the corridor, and he slipped the other half of his body into the darkness, before bringing it in as well.

Suddenly Harry found himself in a well lit room. He blinked rapidly and looked around. There were a row of tables covered in the complicated cables and machinery that filled at least one room in every Muggle school. A soft whirring filled the room, and he bemusedly wondered when Hogwarts got a computer lab. He glanced around remembering that Hermione had said magic and technology couldn’t co-exist. They cancelled each other out, or something.

He whirled to his right, and then his left. Where were Ron and Hermione? He looked behind him. A blank wall faced him. Where was the door? Had it sealed behind him? Had it locked them out? He ran his hands over the smooth butter yellow paint, and then rapped it with his knuckles. It was solid.

“Hermione? Ron?” he yelled. No one answered. He pressed his ear against the wall and yelled again. Again, he received no answer.

Taking out his wand, he pointed it at the wall, and shouted, “Alohomora!”

The wall remained solid.

“Now would not be a good time to panic,” he murmured to himself.

Music suddenly started behind him, and he reeled around wand at the ready. The computer screen facing him was on, the internet was up, and a website was displayed. He walked over, curious, despite the desperate circumstances he’d just escaped from. He didn’t have a lot of experience with computers, or the internet, since he was never allowed to touch Dudley’s, but he knew enough from his previous schooling to enable him to navigate the website. To his surprise, the title was The Leaky Cauldron. He scrolled down, and saw with some amusement, and not a little amazement references to news articles. But these weren’t about Hogwarts, or the Wizarding World, nor were they written by Rita Skeeter. He glanced through what he found, and saw many obscure references to his life, the Wizarding world, and the Muggle world as well.

He looked around again, and saw no one. Someone must be playing one heck of a joke here, but what was the point? He clicked the close button on the browser, and the window disappeared. The music started up again, playing a different tune, and Harry noticed that the computer next to him had lit up, open to another website. This one appeared to be a message board and Harry looked through it dumbfounded at the contents.

His education was quick and blunt. Shipping, Harry Hermione groups, Harry Ginny groups, Harry Draco groups, no one was exempt. He was paired with anyone and everyone in the whole Wizarding universe, and quite a few Muggles as well. No one was exempt. All the men, women, children, and yes, even animals, had ships and shippers backing them. Harry winced. He’d barely started thinking about girls, after all, he’d had plenty of other distractions, still did as a matter of fact, and he certainly hadn’t shared much with Ron about it. Was this Ron’s idea of a joke? If it was, it was in poor taste. Fred and George were more likely, but they’d left the school earlier.

His face flushed as he read further. He and Ginny? Ron’s baby sister? He and Tonks? Harry’s flushed face turned beet red. He and Hermione? He and DRACO!? “No way!” he shouted defiantly, wildly looking around the room. Only silence answered him.

The lists went on and on. Harry snorted and clicked the close button again. The computer next to him opened up, and a Harry Hermione shipping site came on-line. It was subtitled, “Dreams, Loyalty, Memories and Love.”

He glanced around again, and read, “Hermione is the only person who knows, understands, and unquestioningly supports Harry. He will never find another relationship that runs as deep as theirs.”

He’d moved over, intent on turning all of them off, but he couldn’t help reading a bit more, “We watch as a love that will conquer everything grows…”

“…and from such an inauspicious beginning, show the people of their universe and ours what trust, loyalty, and love are all about.”

“She has aged their relationship like a bottle of good wine, and the romantic part of it, which feels like the next step, will be much better because she has written it that way.”

“Through their mutual concern for, and respect of each other, they show a higher moral love than most children their age, and because of that, this could grow to be one of the greatest love stories of all time.”

“He needs her badly.”

The reasons and essays went on and on. He started, realizing that he’d been sitting here for over twenty minutes, reading, when a soft sort of zapping sound greeted his ears, and Hermione was suddenly standing next to him.

“Harry?” she asked tentatively.

“Hermione!” Harry exclaimed, a bit too loudly, for she looked inquisitively at him, and then glanced around.

“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately, while looking around the room.

“Nothing, you just startled me, that’s all”

 “What is this place?”

“I don’t know. I’m not….”

“What is THAT!?” she said looking over his shoulder.

He blushed deeply and mumbled something about a crack-pot joker being loose in Hogwarts.

Hermione looked at the screen intently, and her face flushed scarlet. Hermione’s True Feelings For Harry was displayed on the screen. A list of quotes, and an essay followed.

“How? I mean…why would…?” She seemed as flustered as he.

Another screen in the room flashed to life, and Hermione saw a new website there. “SCUSA…” she read. Her faced suddenly flamed, as her mouth dropped open. Harry could imagine what she were reading there. His own trip to SCUSA had been embarrassing at best, and he’d been alone.

“Draco!?” she screamed, jumping away from the screen. And then it was as though she was yanked back to her seat, for the next instant she was close to the screen screeching, “SNAPE!”

Harry hurried over to help support her, for she seemed to be hyperventilating on the spot. He glanced at the screen and dropped Hermione in shock. She slipped down into the chair, and feebly waved her hand at the computer.

“Shut it off!” she said weakly.

He rushed over and closed the browser window. As expected, the computer next to it flared to life with a new website. Hermione looked over in alarm, and narrowed her eyes as she read. Before they could get too immersed in this site however, Hermione’s blushes were replaced with a pale look of surprise as another zapping sound filled the air, and Ron was standing there blinking in the sudden brightness.

“Ron?” Harry said hesitantly.

“Hey, where did you guys….how did we?” Ron seemed as confused as they at the surroundings, but he was staring in apprehension around him as well. “What are…” He didn’t seem to be able to finish, and Harry realized that Ron had probably never seen a computer before, as they were peculiarly Muggle devices.

His fascination increased as a screen to his left flared to life, and he moved forward to look.

“Ron…” Hermione started.

But too late, as he gasped the next instant and shouted, “What the Hell is this!?”

Harry winced. He could only guess what Ron’s screen said. Harry quickly informed him, “I think its some sort of joke. Anyway, don’t close it. That seems to start the next one, and we really don’t want to keep on at it.”

He’d spoken too late though as Hermione had quickly shut her browser window down. Another screen flashed into life, and Harry wondered dully if they’d have to go through this all night.

Hermione moved over to the new screen, and Ron moved back in at his station to look some more. Harry went over to help Ron when he complained loudly that nothing was happening and his wand started blowing purple bubbles out the end when he tapped it to the screen.

“Magic doesn’t seem to work,” he told Ron looking at the screen.

“The Sugar Quill,” Harry read. Then he asked, “Who does this one have you with?”

Ron mumbled something unintelligible, and Harry had to keep reading himself to find the answer.

“Hermione!” he exclaimed when he found it.

“What?” she asked dazedly, coming over to read with them.

“Well, at least she’s got taste,” Ron said his ears going red. “Smart girls choose Ron. That’s a plus.”

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him and leaned in for a better view. “I believe in Trees. What is that all about?”

Harry glanced at his two friends and wondered. Did they set this whole thing up? Was this their way of telling him something?

“Well, I like this bit,” Ron said pointing as Hermione scrolled through. “EWWW. They got something right anyway.”

“What is EWWW?” Harry asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes saying, “Every woman wants a Weasley.”

She ignored Harry and Ron’s guffaws as she added, “Well, you’d better hope so, after all there are so many of you that if everyone didn’t want one, there’d be no one left for you, as you’re the youngest.”

That shut Ron up, and his red ears pinked a little more as he said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hermione shrugged and read, “Harry and Hermione is a ridiculous impossibility. Harry is allowed to date Cho, but will end up with Ginny.”

“WHAT?” Harry said somewhat more shrilly than he meant to.

Ron goggled at the screen and read, “The Weasley family RULES (especially Ron, whom it will be okay to lust after outward in the seventh year- for us older gals)”

Hermione snickered at Ron’s blanching face.

“I can’t imagine…” she started.

Harry sensed another argument, and cut her off to read, “Hermione is NOT whiny. She is a bit bossy, but she is so smart that she deserves to be.”

“Ow!” Hermione said. A small bruise had appeared on her arm.

“What happened?” Harry asked peering at the small mark.

“I don’t know, it felt like someone hit me, but no one was even near me.”

Ron looked confused, and stalked around the room scanning the spaces underneath the tables. “We’re definitely alone here,” he said at the end of his inspection. “Unless they’re invisible, but I stuck my hand under the tables a few times, and I couldn’t feel anyone either.”

Hermione shrugged and said, “Perhaps I just bumped it earlier, and only noticed now.”

Ron came back and they read a little more from the website.

“Rocks don’t speak,” Hermione read rolling her eyes. “I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry.”

They all looked at each other and giggled.

A few more sentences down, Harry read out, “Hermione and Ron also do not fight to the point of tears EVERY DAY. Sometimes, they are nice.” The giggles turned into laughs.

“Yeah, Hermione, SOMETIMES you’re nice to me,” Ron snorted between laughs.

“Ha!” she said gasping. “Yeah, and you occasionally behave yourself towards me.”

They were all hooting now, holding their sides, Harry and Ron rolling on the floor, and Hermione draped in the chair her hand on her forehead, barely able to hold herself up. Everything seemed like a lot of fun all of a sudden.

They read through some more of the site, and soon enough came upon another ship.

“JKR answered: ‘You’ll see… poor Ginny, eh?’” Harry glanced at Ron, and another zap introduced Ginny into the room.

Ginny blinked, looked around blankly, and then said, “Am I dreaming?”

They quickly filled her in as another screen flashed to life. She read over it calmly, almost stoically, and Harry would have wondered what was wrong with her, if her face hadn’t been flaming so much, that she could have heated the room with just her cheeks.

“Are you guys trying to take the Mickey out of me here?” she asked suddenly eyeing them all with suspicion. Harry didn’t blame her, they didn’t exactly look innocent sitting around howling with delight.

They shook their heads, and showed her the screen they’d been reading, trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle their mirth.

“I do support the One Big Happy Weasley Family theory (or whatever it’s called), and I see no reason not to – it’s perfectly logical. Harry with anyone else wouldn’t fit,” she read out. “These people, have obviously never been to our house during holiday, if that’s their opinion of our family,” she sniffed.

“I don’t know,” Hermione said, “Your family is pretty happy, despite the bickering that goes on.”

Ginny simply rolled her eyes, and snapped, “You’ve only been there a couple of weeks Hermione. You don’t know what we’re really like. Anyone can be on their best behavior for that long.” She paused and added hastily, “Well, maybe not Fred and George.”

“Shush, Gin,” Ron said. “You’re giving away family secrets.”

“Please, Ron,” Ginny said huffily. “If you and Hermione are going to be married, she deserves to know the truth about you.”

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea about Ron already,” Hermione said cutting off Ron’s angry spluttering. “After all, he has been my friend for the past five years.”

Harry avoided everyone’s eyes. He’d never thought about Ron and Hermione getting together before. If you had asked him, he would’ve said he didn’t mind. But all of a sudden, he minded very much. He felt confused, and he didn’t want to look at Ginny for some reason. Had she really been suffering through these past four years with that crush like the website said? Harry felt guilty. He’d known about the crush. But he hadn’t thought about it at all. Hadn’t thought about her at all. Did she truly suffer?

Ginny huffed something unintelligible and tapped the screen with her wand, causing orange sparks to come shooting out.

“Here, Gin. You have to close the browser window like this.” Hermione demonstrated basic computer use to them, and Ginny managed to close her browser. Another screen popped open, and Ginny moved over to look at it.

Ron was busy giggling at the reasons Harry and Ginny fit so perfectly together, so Hermione moved over to close the browser on her first computer.

Harry wondered why they bothered. More of the silly things would just spring to life.

Hermione gasped, looking at the new screen, and cast a furtive look at Harry. He ignored her, and continued looking around the room for a door. Between this and Filch, he’d take Filch.

Hermione continued to gasp, and started to giggle. Ginny was engrossed in her new website, and Harry stole furtive glances at her as he walked around feeling the walls. Her face was fluctuating between a deep scarlet, and a pale cream. Her freckles stood out maroon in the flushes and a soft chocolate on the creamy surface of her cheeks. He wondered what she was reading about that affected her so. He started to edge around, just to have a peek.

Ron was gazing at a blank window now, and he moved over to look at Hermione’s new screen, and they started laughing together.

He reached the back of Ginny’s chair and read to himself, “Fire and Ice: Ginny and Draco”

“What!” he exclaimed before he could stop himself.

Ginny whirled around in her chair, “Shhh!” She looked towards Ron, and said, “It’s not that bad, Harry.”

“Harry, mate, tell me….” Ron interrupted, glancing at his screen again and then continuing, reading for reference. “Do the worst enemies really make the best lovers?”

Harry looked at them nonplussed and walked over to see what the commotion was about. “Guns and Handcuffs?” he read. “WHAT?”

Ginny walked over to read over Harry’s shoulder. She giggled softly, as Harry screamed, “NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!”

The next instant another soft zapping sound filled the air, and Draco Malfoy stood there looking dazed and a little confused. After he’d taken them all in, his usual scowl came back into his face, and he snarled at them, “What are you four playing at?”

On cue, another screen flashed into life, and Draco glanced down at it his pale face flushing a slight pink.

Ginny whispered to Harry, “The only question is, who is he here for? Me, or you?”

Harry glared at Ginny and hissed, “He’s not here for me, that’s for sure. And I think that Ron would have just a few things to say to you about it, if he were here for you. But knowing Malfoy, he’s not here for anyone, unless its to torture us in some way.”

Ginny tossed her hair and giggled.

Hermione was looking at them questioningly, so Harry thought it best to change the subject. “Shut that one off. Now,” he instructed her.

She obliged, and a new browser popped open. Harry sighed exasperatedly he walked over to see what new horror it was bringing up. Hermione beat him to it though, and gasped as she saw the gist of the site. “Leather and Libraries,” Harry read. He rolled his eyes. Really, who had the time to sit here and make all these ridiculous sites anyway? This was a Draco and Hermione site, and she looked surreptitiously over at Draco who was immersed in his first site, and not looking at anyone.

Ron had gone over to a new computer and was currently engrossed in a new ship that seemed to have cheered him up quite a bit, as he was giggling freely, between looking horrified. Ginny was laughing outright at whatever it was, and Harry clicked Hermione’s browser closed and guided her over to see what was wrong with Ron, who looked quite mad cycling through these conflicting emotions.

On their way, yet another computer flared to life showing the title, Loonies and Lions: Because we Believe. He pointedly ignored the rest of it, and pushed Hermione ahead of him to keep her from closing it and sending yet another crazy ship into orbit. Draco moved his chair forward, and blocked his screen from view as they passed.

Ron’s site was pretty amusing really, Harry thought looking at Ron. The HMS Red Moon: Ron and Luna. It was almost ludicrous, yet at the same time, it made an odd sort of sense. She seemed to stoke Ron’s ego, Harry noticed that he always took her compliments well, but he dismissed her just as freely. Luna was an unusual person. Harry never knew when to take her at her word, and when to listen with a deaf ear, but she was a nice person, and a loyal friend.

Harry laughed with Ron as they read out, “Luna balances Ron. She can take his temper and let it flow over her, while giving his previously under appreciated brand of humor her full attention and appreciation.”

He punched Ron’s shoulder playfully and said, “That’s true Ron, remember the train?” Luna had laughed herself silly over Ron’s impression of Goyle on the train last year. Harry had already thought her a bit unbalanced, so he hadn’t paid much attention at the time, but suddenly it took on a bit more meaning.

A soft zap announced another new arrival, and Luna stood blinking in the bright light. “Oh, hello Ronald,” she said conversationally, as though she had just met him when she were walking down the hall, instead of having been mysteriously transported, in the middle of the night, into a room full of machinery that she most likely had no knowledge of.

Draco, who had been uncharacteristically quiet up till now sneered up at them, “What is the meaning of all this drivel anyway, Potter? Some new brand of torture you’re trying to put me through?”

Harry’s temper flared, “I don’t know, Malfoy, maybe you should tell me!”

Ron sniggered, “Careful, Harry, next thing you know, you two will be snogging.”

Harry rounded on Ron, wanting to smack him, but instead he snarled, “I’ll leave that for Ginny.”

Ginny looked as though he’d slapped her, but recovered herself in time for her temper to rise and snarled back at him, “At least some people aren’t totally clueless when it comes to girls.”

Ron glanced between them, and over to Draco. “What’s that supposed to mean, Ginny?” he asked, his voice rising in volume.

She shrugged as Draco came over to them, drawing his wand, his face showing anger, and repulsion as he started to comprehend what they were discussing.

“You’re all a bunch of nutters! Let me out of this room right now!” he said.

Hermione suddenly let out a shriek, distracting them all. “Sorry,” she mumbled as she moved to close the program.

Draco turned back to them and pointed his wand at Ginny, when a soft Zap interrupted them once again. Everyone lowered their wands and a dull silence reigned as they looked into Snape’s face.

His face registered a brief moment of shock, and then his eyes narrowed as he looked at both them, and the computers. No one spoke as he made this silent inspection.

Harry held his breath. “Please, not another one,” he thought. Too late as it turned out, because no sooner had he finished this thought than another computer flared into life behind Snape. What would happen now?

Snape glanced briefly at the screen, then said, “Explain yourselves.”

“They’ve done something, Professor,” Malfoy piped up. “I was in the common room doing my homework, and they apparated me in here. Its nothing but a common kidnapping, and my Father won’t stand for it!”

“No one can apparate, or disapperate in Hogwarts,” Hermione interrupted. “There are deterrents for that. Besides, we can’t possibly be in Hogwarts still, or these computers wouldn’t be functioning. Magic causes Muggle technology to fail.” She trailed off under Snape’s baneful glare.

“Enough,” he said sibilantly.

Everyone remained silent, waiting for the points to start coming down.

Snape seemed more confused than angry though. Harry had never seen him this close to looking bewildered. A moment later, he collected himself, and said, “Potter, explain your kidnapping of Mr. Malfoy.”

Harry’s anger boiled in his chest. Why had he expected Snape to be fair? “I didn’t!” he shouted stupidly. “I don’t know how I got here, or how he got here.”

Hermione burst in, “None of us know Professor, we just found ourselves here, just like you, only we don’t understand it. If we were in Hogwarts, the computers should malfunction, but our magic seems to be…”

Snape cut her off and hissed, “Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger. You still have not learned to keep your mouth shut, I see. An insufferable know-it-all is never appreciated, nor admired, so you ought to learn to hold your tongue.”

A hissing filled the room, and voices burst out of nowhere and everywhere at once.

“He is the most horrible excuse for a teacher in the world! All he ever does is insult the students!”

Snape jumped and grabbed his arm. Harry, remembering Hermione’s earlier bruise wondered if he had just experienced the same thing. A moment later he didn’t have to wonder.

“She’s bossy, and domineering, he’s trying to help her!” Hermione jumped and held her arm again in a different place. Another small bruise had appeared.

More voices rang out drowning each other in their ferocity, and they were only able to catch phrases of sentences, as everyone jumped and flinched, examining the marring that appeared on their arms, legs, and bodies, seemingly without reason.

“Arrogant….Evil…Temper…Bossy…Misunderstood…Responsibility…Learning…Clueless…Spacey…”

It seemed to go on and on. None of them were exempt and all were squirming around, under the punishment of the invisible people. Finally someone shouted, “Quiet! No character bashing is allowed!”

A deep silence ensued, and each of them nursed their own particular contusions, trying not to look at the others.

A high pitched song started playing and everyone turned. Snape’s computer screen had changed to a different site, and a whining MIDI tune was playing out a haunting melody. Snape’s pale face went even whiter as Harry’s face turned an angry magenta. Hermione clutched Harry’s sleeve, but he couldn’t move he was shaking so badly.

Cliched: Lily/Severus was the title across the top. A small type underneath read, Is Snape really Harry’s father?

Snape’s eyes locked with Harry’s. His lip curled cruelly as he read Harry’s anger. It couldn’t be true! None of this was true! Before either of them could speak another zap announced the newest arrival.

A collective gasp went around and even Snape looked startled.

Lily Potter stood in the middle of the room.

“Mu…Mum?” Harry asked tentatively breaking the silence.

Lily smiled, flickered, and then reached out a pale, translucent hand. “Yes, Harry. Its me.”

Hermione let out a small whimper, and Ron was gaping between Harry, his Mum, and Snape, his mouth hanging almost to the floor.

Draco had stayed silent in the background, his wand held tightly by his side. His narrowed eyes were flickering around, and his ears were peaked, eager for information to humiliate Harry with later.

Lily moved forward and took Harry’s hand in both of her own. “Harry. Don’t be troubled. I’m here.”

“Are you a….” He swallowed hard. “Are you a ghost?” he asked warily.

He’d seen a sort of memory of his mother before. What had Dumbledore called it? A shadow. The shadow of his Mother, had come out of Voldemort’s wand slightly before the shade of his Dad. Was this too Voldemort’s doing? But Voldemort hadn’t wanted the shades to come out; Harry had done that.

She smiled again and said, “No. Call me a dream, or a wishful thought. Perhaps, an unfulfilled wish.”

He was more confused than ever.

Another screen flashed to life, and Harry read out, “Thorn and Buck – Lily and James: the canon ship.”

“Yes.” She smiled.

Another soft zap introduced James, and he took Lily’s hand in his immediately. Then he smiled at Harry, and clapped him on the shoulder. “Hello, Son.”

Harry’s voice seemed caught behind a lump in his throat, and he squeaked out, “Hi, Dad.”

“How touching,” sneered Snape from behind him. “However, I do not have time for this disgusting reunion mush.”

He turned slightly, “Draco!”

Draco jumped a bit at hearing his name called out.

“Where is the door?” Snape demanded.

Draco’s cheeks turned a pink tinge as his eyes traveled wildly over the walls. “I don’t know, Sir, I don’t remember coming through a door.”

Luna who was reposing on a chair and twirling her wand, sat up straight, and said in her dreamy voice, “Its alright. We’re just caught in a triangle.”

Everyone turned to her.

“What?” Ron snorted. “The room is rectangular, Luna.”

Hermione opened her mouth, but Luna continued, “Even though they’re widely disbelieved throughout the Wizarding community…”

Hermione sniffed, and Ginny muttered, “Nothing she mentions is.”

“The Muggles know about these triangles,” Luna continued. “They have one in Bermuda.”

“Sounds like the Twilight Zone,” mumbled Harry under his breath. Hermione giggled softly, but the others that heard only looked at him. “Of course,” he thought. “They wouldn’t know that Muggle television show.”

“So, what does this triangle do?” Ginny asked impatiently.

“It doesn’t do anything. It simply is,” Luna replied, her eyes turning misty and reminding Harry of Professor Trelawny when she was going into one of her theatrical trances.

Ron rolled his eyes and murmured something that sounded like, “Load of rubbish, as usual.”

“Oh, but she’s right,” Lily said.

Everyone turned to look at her again.

“We are in a triangle. When difficult choices must be made, everyone goes into a triangle. And this time, its because the shippers can’t agree. When that happens, we have to choose for ourselves. That’s the only way out.”

“Are you talking about an inane, foolish, silly little adolescent outlook on meddling in other people’s lives!” Snape asked coldly.

“Well,” she said cautiously. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”

“Sure,” James said grinning mischievously at Snape. “And the only way out, is to choose.”

Snape sniffed heavily, and his hand twitched.

James continued to the others, “Lily and I are only here in Spirit, so to speak, because we have already chosen.” He broke off here to smile at her, and she returned his smile before looking beatifically back at Harry.

“The only way we got here, is because someone doubted our choice.” He looked quizzically at Harry, who didn’t return his gaze.

In an undertone so that the children couldn’t hear, James whispered to Snape, “Well, Severus, it looks as though there’s no one here for you to choose.” He smiled and continued, “Too bad, huh? I guess you’ll just have to be lonely again!”

“If you want out, choose,” James said aloud, looking maliciously back at Snape, and smiling. “It’s the only way.”

Harry was waiting for Snape’s response, but before it came, Hermione interrupted, “What exactly are we choosing? And who are the shippers?”

“Everyone,” Luna said. “Everyone is a shipper. They just choose different ships. That’s what those are all about right?” She pointed towards the computers, and then absently pushed one of the butterbeer caps she was wearing around her neck into her mouth and began to suck on it.

Hermione looked like she was biting back a retort.

“So, what are we choosing?” Harry asked again.

Lily smiled at him and replied, “Your love.”

Everyone choked.

“And how exactly,” Malfoy asked hoarsely, “are we supposed to do that?”

“Well…” James frowned. “It all depends on the individuals I guess. Shall we show them Lily?”

She smiled back at him and nodded. Turning to Harry she said, “Choose well, sweetheart. Love is a wonderful, and powerful beauty when treated well. But, like any power, it can be dangerous if wielded lightly, misunderstood, or if forced upon others.”

James turned and said, “Good luck, Son. Your Mother and I love you.”

“Wait!” Harry called out, “You are my…” He swallowed guiltily, glanced at Snape, and looked at the floor.

“Harry,” Hermione said gently. “Anyone with eyes can see the family resemblance. Your parents are there.” She pointed towards James and Lily. “Don’t believe that stupid website. Its just theorizing shippers. Wishful thinking, maybe.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “But, that’s what she said she was!” He gestured towards Lily. “Wishful thinking.”

Hermione put her hand over her mouth. “That’s not what I meant,” she said lowering it slowly.

“Harry,” James said. “You are my son. And I am very proud of you.” He gave Snape a murderous look. “I don’t care what anyone else has been trying to fill your head with. Lily and I, we fell in love during our sixth year, and then we never dated anyone else.”

Snape sniffed loudly again, and said icily, “It was not I who said differently. I wouldn’t have dated a filthy, Mu...her,” he corrected himself glancing hastily at Hermione.

James glared at Snape, and then turned to Harry and the others, “At any rate, I think that’s our cue, and so without further ado…” He turned, took Lily in his arms, and said, “Shall we catch The Portkey dear?” Then he lowered his lips to hers, smothering her giggle. It was a short, but passionate kiss. When they separated, stars seemed to shine in Lily’s large green eyes, and suddenly, they were gone with a soft pop.

The computer behind them that had registered Thorn and Buck, clicked off with a dying sound.

Everyone was quiet.

“You mean, we have to kiss someone?” Ron’s croaky question filled the room.

“Not just someone Ronald!” Luna filled in, taking the butterbeer cap out of her mouth, “Your true love.” She then sat back in the chair and stared at the ceiling, folding her hands in her lap.

Ron’s mouth gaped open at her, and then his wondering face traveled over to Harry, Hermione, and Ginny.

“I’m only sixteen!” Draco shrilled out. “How should I know who my true love is? Certainly not here!” A note of panic filled this protest as he gazed towards the three girls present.

Ginny said loudly, “What did he mean, catch the Portkey? Are there Portkeys here?”

They all started looking around frantically. Desperately hoping to get out of this situation, Harry began grabbing any object that came within his vision.

After about five minutes of this, Ginny said, “Wait!” Everyone stopped and looked towards her. “I think,” she said biting her lip. “I think I might understand something.” Her eyes flickered over to Draco, and a worried frown creased her forehead.

“What is it Ginny?” Hermione urged.

“Well, they said we have to choose.”

“So?”

”So, let’s just try it and see,” she shrugged.

Draco snorted, “If you think that I’m going to kiss any of you lot…”

“Oh stuff it, Malfoy!” Ginny burst out.

“Silence!” Snape hissed. He had sat down in front of one of the computers while their search for a Portkey was going on.

“I am Switzerland,” he said loudly.

Everyone looked at him, bewildered at this statement.

Snape looked calmly back and suddenly with a hissing sound, he too disappeared.

“Wha…”

“I am Switzerland! I am Switzerland!” Draco screamed in terror. Nothing happened.

“Switzerland is taken,” a voice said.

Everyone rushed over to the computer database. Switzerland was written in bold red letters and Taken was next to it.

“Switzerland can only be used if there’s an odd man out. Triangles don’t allow triangles within them. It defeats their purpose,” Hermione surmised.

“Well,” Ginny said calmly. “There doesn’t seem to be a lack of ships to choose from here. So all we have to do is…”

Ron leaned in for a closer view and hit a key on the keyboard. The database suddenly started erasing the ships that were displayed until the only ships left involved the six of them with each other.

“What did you do?” Draco cried in horror.

“It wasn’t me!” Ron yelled.

“Don’t panic,” Hermione said loudly. “It makes sense that we can only choose from amongst ourselves. Otherwise how would we be able to kiss our partner to get out?”

“But, my Mum warned us not to choose lightly,” Harry said quietly. “She said love wasn’t to be frivolously used.”

“Well…” Ginny said scrunching her forehead and gazing up at the same corner that had captivated Luna earlier. “We have all these speculative websites to help us. Maybe we can read their reasoning to help us think of things we might not.”

They glanced around. No one wanted to say no, but they were reluctant to delve any deeper.

“Fine,” Malfoy interjected. “Anything to get out of here.”

He strolled back to the screen he’d been looking at before. The rest of them glanced at one another, and then moved to their respective computers as well.

Harry stopped Ginny on her way by and said softly, “There’s no way I’ll ever snog Malfoy to get out of here.”

She laughed, and continued to her screen.

Luna chewed delicately on a strand of her straggly hair while reading. Her expression of eternal surprise shielded any other emotion from registering, so Harry had no idea what she was reading until she beckoned him over.

Loonies and Lions was on the top of her screen. Harry found out that it was a Harry and Luna shipping site. Harry held his breath. Did he think Luna could be his true love? The website had some interesting theories. And it made some good points. They had connected last year, and she had helped him through some difficult times, including that ever aching hole that surrounded Sirius’ death. He looked cautiously at her. She just looked so goofy at times.

She turned to him smiling. “Uh oh,” Harry thought. “She’s going to ask me, and I don’t know if I’m going to say yes or no!” Panic welled up in his chest. His feet felt like ice. His throat was dry, and he was having trouble swallowing.

“Harry, I like you,” she said.

He managed a wobbly grin.

“But, I hope you don’t mind, I just hoped that maybe, Ronald…”

He felt as though someone had punched him. “Ron?” he croaked.

“Yeah. You’re a great friend. Its just…I used to play with Ronald when we were younger. He used to throw sand in my eyes,” she said dreamily, smiling at the memory.

“S…sand?” Harry stammered.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “He was only three, and I was two, but I knew then that he was something special.”

Harry goggled at her. He didn’t know what to say. “Ron’s great!” he managed.

“Gee, thanks Harry!” she said.

The last remark had been given too loudly, and everyone was looking at them. Hermione had an impassive look on her face. Ron was staring avidly, and Ginny looked sulky.

“Well?” Malfoy demanded. “Are you going to kiss?”

Harry jumped from his chair as though he’d been burnt. “I’m not…I mean, we’re not…” He looked at Luna. She was staring at the ceiling again, twirling the wet lock around her finger. Harry broke off, and walked over to Ron’s computer.

“What do you think, mate?” Ron asked. He had loaded Sugarquill again, and jerked his thumb towards Hermione.

“Um…” Harry squeaked. “I don’t…that is…” He glanced at Luna again. “Luna just told me…”

“Looney bothering you for a kiss?” Ron sniggered. “I think Ginny would rather-“ he broke off as Ginny sent a murderous gaze his way.

Harry glanced over at Hermione who was studying her computer with rapt attention. “Have you asked?” he whispered to Ron.

“Naw,” Ron muttered. “She’s…”

Ginny stood up and walked over to Draco. Ron’s mouth dropped open again. “What’s she playing at?” he demanded.

Ginny glared back at him again, and then bent down over Draco’s keyboard and spoke to him softly.

“This is secret desire time right?” she whispered.

His face was set, and his eyes were wide, but icy. “What exactly are you suggesting Weasley?” he asked scathingly.

“Well, I can’t deny that I’ve thought of you,” she said, pinking a little and gazing at her hands.

“What?”

“You know, in those places deep inside where you hide your guilty pleasures.” Her gaze flickered up to his face, and down his frame. “You must know what I’m talking about,” she breathed.

“Uh…” he faltered.

“I’ve always wondered whether your skin was more like silk, or alabaster.” She reached her hand over and closed it around his fingers.

He jumped as though she’d scalded him, and Ron shouted, “Ginny! What are you doing?”

She ignored him, and Harry held him back as he struggled to reach them.

Draco watched Ron struggling, and a slow smile spread across his features.

“Yes, I know what you mean,” he said touching her fiery curls. “I’ve wondered about you as well.”

“You have?” her voice registered a note of astonishment. “Truly? And not just because Ron is infuriated with you now?”

His eyes traveled slowly from Ron to her body, and up to lock with her own eyes. The edges softened just a tinge as he said, “Truly. Your hair is so vibrant, I could feel it burning me even though I’d never touched it. And you’re feisty, not a wimp or a show-off like most Gryffindors. But that Quidditch game last year, when you beat me to the snitch…I don’t know, I just couldn’t get you out of my mind. Bending over your broom. The look in your eyes, when you captured the Snitch. The joy of life. I wanted those too. I wanted you too.”

Her eyes had filled, and she squeezed his fingers gently, until he returned the soft passionate pressure.

Hermione had come and was holding Ron on one side, while Harry held the other. “Ginny!” he shouted again.

They stepped together, and Draco cupped her face in his slender hand, stroking the side of her ear.

“GINNY!” Ron bellowed, and ripped himself from his friends’ grip knocking them to the floor.

He raced across, and closed his hands around thin air as a soft pop sounded.

Ginny and Draco had kissed.

Harry sat where he’d landed, slightly stunned, and not a little stung. Ginny and Draco? GINNY and DRACO?

“I thought she…” he started.

“Harry, we went through this last year,” Hermione whispered, tears in her eyes. “Ginny was over you. And can you really blame her? You never showed the tiniest sign that she ever existed!”

“But, I…” he spluttered. “Well, she…I saved…”

Ron had stomped back over. “That’s right! If YOU had, she might not be off who knows where snogging MALFOY!”

“She was…I didn’t…she just…” Harry continued.

“Ron, relax. She’s liked Malfoy for a while now. Harry had nothing to do with it. They competed against each other in Quidditch, you know,” Hermione said.

“So did he and Harry, but you don’t see them off…”

“I think its time to think about getting ourselves out of here if you’re so all fired worried about what Ginny is or isn’t up to!” she snapped cutting him off.

Luna rose from her chair and said, “Yes, it is getting rather late don’t you think Ronald?”

“What?” spluttered Ron.

“Well, I could kiss you if you would like, but I do think it would be preferable if you would kiss me, that way we won’t have The Curse of  Magdalen to worry about, don’t you think?”

“Kiss you?” Ron completely ignored whatever curse she had mentioned. He looked pale. Even his freckles seemed to fade. He looked to Harry pleadingly.

“She seems serious,” Harry told him. “She told me earlier. She really likes you.”

She sat primly in the chair in front of him and waited.

Hermione was watching in the background, a scowl on her face.

“This is not going to end H/Hr is it?” a voice shrieked.

Everyone looked up, distracted and surprised.

“It has to!” another voice said. “That is the only reasonable way to end it!”

“Oh yeah?” said the first. “Why is Hermione scowling then?”

Hermione jumped a little at the reference, and quickly changed her face to impassive once more.

“She doesn’t like the way Ron is so clueless.”

“Yeah, clueless about the way SHE feels about him.”

“NO! Clueless in general!”

Ron jumped a bit as though pinched, and another voice chimed in, “No character bashing remember!”

“Anyway, its OBVIOUS that R/Hr is the way to go!”

“No, its not!” the second voice shrieked. “Anyway, JKR never takes the OBVIOUS route, now does she?”

“What is going on!” Harry shouted.

“Whooo…go Harry! Get the girl!” the second voice continued emphatically.

”The Shippers are arguing,” Luna said. “They do it quite frequently. Its just that we can hear them now since we’re in the triangle.”

“Everyone’s gone nutters, and taken me with them,” Ron muttered.

“She likes Ron!”

“Harry!”

“Ron!”

“Harry!”

“Ron!”

“Look…” Harry interrupted. “We’re never going to be able to do anything until you all give us some peace and time!”

The voices quieted.

They looked around.

“Well…” Ron licked his lips, and glanced at the computer screen behind Luna which was displaying the HMS Red Moon reasons that Ron and Luna belonged together. “I reckon I could use a girl who appreciates my sense of humor.”

A groan sounded from the shippers, but was cut off after a few scuffling sounds.

Luna grinned. “I saved all the jokes you told last year!” she exclaimed happily. She pulled out the butterbeer cap necklace and turned one of the caps over. Attached to the underside of most of the caps, were tiny pieces of paper that had Ron’s jokes on them.

“They looked,” Harry thought. “Like bubblegum wrapper jokes.” But it was just different colored inks that she had used. He wondered vaguely how she had heard them all, as she really hadn’t spent that much time with them.

“Wha..?” Ron managed.

“The caps are enchanted to print anything you say that is funny!” she said proudly. “I didn’t want to miss anything.”

Hermione was struggling, whether with laughter or something else, Harry couldn’t tell.

Ron’s eyes darted wildly from Harry to Hermione to Luna.

He took a deep breath, walked over to where she sat, pulled her up by her hands, and grimacing, shut his eyes and gave her a quick peck. Unfortunately, he missed. But it didn’t make a lot of difference, as Luna gasped, squealed in delight, threw her arms around his lanky frame, and quickly pulled his head down planting a huge wet kiss on him. She didn’t miss.

With a soft pop, they were gone.

Harry looked over at Hermione. They were alone now. She had tears in her eyes.

Harry’s gaze moved down to the floor. She did like Ron. He was only half surprised at finding that this thought hurt him.

He moved over to the first computer. He’d left it, and hadn’t returned. The HMS Pumpkin Pie was on the screen. His heart beat painfully against his ribcage as he looked at it.

Hermione was still standing on the other side of the room, lost in thought, and tears swimming in her eyes.

He read something out loud, “Harry and Hermione complete each other, a perfect balance. Where he is weak, she is strong. Where she is weak, he is strong. They overlap in their strengths enough to keep the scales steady, so they won’t have violent vacillations, but still have enough oscillation to keep the relationship interesting, and subject to change, which is imperative in any flexible world.”

The second voice rang out, “Listen Hermione! Why are you crying? The R/Hr shipper fainted when Ron kissed Luna, but you’re bringing her around with your tears!”

The first voice spoke, “I was merely resting. We always KNEW that Hermione loved Ron!”

“Ha!” the second voice said. “She loves Harry, as you would see if you ever visited Pumpkinpie’s Army!”

“Whatever!” the first voice answered. “You can’t come up with much, if anything to sway my opinion!”

“Ha!” said the second voice. “At least our essays have content, not just cutesy little acronyms, and catch phrases!”

“At least, we’re imaginative in realistic way, and not off in la-la-land where even the MOST REMOTE things could happen!”

“Oh really! What’s all this about Britney!Voldie and his Popstars!Minions then?”

“SHUTUP!” shouted Harry. “You’re not helping!”

The voices faded into scuffling and screams.

“Ship bashing is not allowed!” said a voice.

There were murmured grudging apologies, and then quiet.

Hermione had remained silent during this interlude. She moved over to Harry, and read off the screen, “They respect each other.”

Harry turned to look at her.

“Harry…”

“Hermione…” they said at the same time.

“Oh, you first,” he hastily demurred.

“Are you disappointed that we’re here?”

“I can think of more fun ways to spend an evening than stuck in a room with…” he broke off at the look on her face. “Malfoy!” he finished.

She was startled. Then she said quietly looking down, “I meant, are you disappointed that I’m not …Cho, or…someone else.”

His pulse quickened. If Hermione had asked him this question before this bizarre experience, he would’ve wanted her checked over by Madam Pomfrey, or wondered why in the world she would ask such a question. But now, now he had asked himself that question as well.

“Never,” he said shortly. “No, I mean…” He softened his voice. “I am glad its you.”

She raised her eyes to meet his, the tears brimming her lashes and sparkling in the fluorescent glow.

“That is…I…well, I don’t need any website to tell me what it is that I already know,” he swallowed hard. He couldn’t interpret the look on her face, and her teary stare was making him unsure, and uncomfortable.

“I…you’re my best friend, Hermione. And that is special enough, but…” he swallowed again. How was it he needed to swallow so much when his mouth was so dry? “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

A gasp rent through the air. Harry looked up, about to scream at the shippers again, but Hermione had put her hand over her heart, and he realized the gasp had come from her.

He was scared now. Was a girl gasping a good thing? Or a bad one? He wished he could ask Hermione, but as she was the one who had gasped, he decided that was out of the question.

Feeling as though he’d trudged this far, he continued, “I mean, really, I don’t know what I’d do. When I thought that you and Ron…” He wasn’t brave enough to continue. He couldn’t.

“Are you saying?” Hermione spoke at last, but stopped with these words.

He waited for her to continue, but she didn’t seem inclined. Her eyes pleaded with him to confirm what he was trying to say.

“I love you,” he gasped.

Hermione launched herself at him a cry escaping her lips. He stood captured in her grip, and did the only thing he could think of.

“Hermione!” he yelled.

She laughed and pulled back from him. “Remember when we did that the first time?” she asked.

Harry did. It was during their first year, just before he had gone to get the Sorcerer’s Stone. “You said there were more important things.” He smiled.

“Yes, I did,” she said smiling back.

“Bravery, and friendship, and – “

“And love,” she finished.

Harry raised a shaking hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Her bushy brown locks fell over his fingers as she demurely lowered her head. He raised her chin with his other hand, their eyes locking.

“I’ve always loved you,” she said. “No website in the world, could take that away.”

Harry shuddered.

He turned his head, closing his eyes, and hoping he wouldn’t miss.

He didn’t.

A soft pop sounded in the room, and all the computers save one powered down, and the lights flickered off. The glow from the single screen lit up a small area, and an old, grinning face read softly through half moon spectacles, “Welcome to The Portkey.org”