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Harry and Hermione were out walking.
Ron kicked the chair savagely.
Things weren't supposed to happen like this. Hermione was his! She'd made an idiot of herself in their sixth year trying to tell him that. He was willing to accept that now, and she was off making an idiot of herself over Harry! Harry, for goodness sake!
He knew, of course, that Harry had broken up with Ginny. He knew that Ginny seemed ok, though he wasn't sure why. She had been mooning after him, practically her whole life, and now she was willing to just...let it slip away! If Ginny would just assert herself, here, his mess might be cleared up, too!
He thought he'd go and have a talk with her about this. She needed his advice, obviously. She looked up to him, after all. It had been on his admonition last year that she finally stopped snogging every available boy and got Harry in the first place! It was a good thing that she had him to help her out with these things. He didn't really understand what had made his little sister, usually so forceful and loud, simply accept Harry's break. But, he did know that something needed to be done.
When he arrived at the Burrow, he snuck through to find Ginny without being spotted by anyone else. She was in her room, staring in her mirror and brushing out her hair. Ron gagged. How girly of her. Sitting in here mooning away over Harry instead of out there getting him away from his Hermione!
Ginny spotted him in the mirror and turned around. "Ron? What are you doing here, lurking in my doorway?"
"Hi," he said. "Uh...I wanted to talk to you."
"OK, come in."
He entered and shut the door. Ginny raised her eyebrow quizzically.
"Uh...it's about Harry."
"Oh. Well, what? You aren't going to pry into my private life again, Ron! You tried that last year!"
"Yeah, and thanks to me, you and Harry started...uh, well," Ron colored, and then waved his hand as if to erase the memory. "Anyway, it was thanks to me."
Ginny's eyes narrowed. "Oh, really?"
Ron grinned, his bravado back. "Yeah, and then you went and screwed it all up!"
Ginny's mouth thinned, as her lips pursed tightly together. "Oh?" was all she said, but it was in a dangerously casual tone.
"Yeah!" Ron exclaimed, warming to his argument and his main point. His chest puffed up a little more and he said dramatically, "And now he's off sniffing after Hermione! And she's entertaining the thought! And she's MINE!" He flopped dramatically down on the edge of her bed. "Now, Ginny, all you need to do is come for a visit, and just try to assert yourself, or something, and things will straighten themselves out. I expect they just need to be reminded of their places in our lives."
Ginny sat staring at him in her narrowed silence.
"So...what do you say?"
"You know, Ron, I think I will come for a visit."
Ron grinned. "Great! I knew you'd come around. You just need me to help you out with these things, Ginny."
Ginny grinned sardonically, "Oh, yes, Ron. It's such a good thing that you're here."
He beamed at her and stood. "Ok, it's all settled then. See you later, Gin!"
She was still grinning tight lipped, and waved to him as he exited the room.
Things would get back to normal now. Ron congratulated himself on a job well done.
Ginny had been laughing and conversing with them all night, and nothing had changed. They were still sitting together on the couch, not quite touching, but close. Ron was scowling at them from across the room. Ginny, however, seemed quite pleased with the evening, and when it started getting late, she excused herself to speak with him alone.
Ron slammed the door to the kitchen shut and rounded on her as soon as they had stepped through.
“What was all that about?” he demanded.
“All what?” she asked innocently. “I thought you invited me over to have dinner, Ron. That’s what happened.”
“I invited you over, to get Harry back!” he shouted.
“Tsk tsk,” Ginny clicked her tongue. “I don’t want Harry back, Ron.”
“What?” he shrilled. “What do you mean? Of course you do!”
“No,” she stated simply. “You should watch your temper. You could have a stroke, or a heart attack if you’re not—“
“Ginny!” he yelled. “This isn’t funny!”
“No,” she sighed. “You’re right, it’s not funny.”
“Well? Are you going to explain it to me, then?”
“Ron…” she paused searching and then said breathlessly, “What is it that you’ve always wanted? I mean against Harry?”
“Wha—nothing, I…that is,” he stuttered.
“It’s just that Harry’s always been the hero, you know. He’s always made the sacrifices, done the right thing, the noble thing. He’s always just done it, too, no questions asked.”
“That’s not exactly—“
“Oh, sure, he may have grumbled about people not believing him, or something, but that’s because he’s never really had a choice, or rather, he’s never taken a choice on these things. He knows what people expect from him, and he does it, with or without their help and support.”
“What does this have to do—“
“I’m trying to tell you!” she shouted angrily. “It’s hard enough as it is. Just…sit!” Ginny shoved him in a chair and then sat across the table from him. She took a deep breath and looked straight into his angered eyes. “Ok. What does being a hero mean to you?”
“Uh…I guess…getting fame, and free stuff. People always glad to see you, cutting you slack…” he trailed off. “Well, I don’t know. I guess there’s the bad stuff, too. Having to do things you would rather—“
“You would rather not?” Ginny finished for him. Ron nodded. “Harry’s always done stuff like that. He even made his mind up that he had to, it wasn’t just everyone else’s expectations, but his own, too. One of the things I love about him is that he believes in what he does, Ron. He’s not false, like Lockhart was. He isn’t fame seeking…he’s…he’s justice seeking. Trying to make things right. Most people don’t bother.”
“What does this have to do with you and him, and Hermione?”
“I’m getting to it.”
“Well, I don’t have all night.”
“Ron.”
“Fine…go on.”
“Well, when Harry and I were going out, we had a dream world, you know. It was like I was getting a daydream potion. Except that it wasn’t. But, it wasn’t what I’d expected. He didn’t go out and slay dragons by day, and then come back to me at night. He sort of stopped living, or else, he just started living, it’s confusing to know which.
“All I do know is that Harry I loved was not mine. He was more carefree, and I suppose happier. I was happy too, but it wasn’t…well, it wasn’t what I’d thought. He was still the hero, but only with you and Hermione. With me, he was…different. He was…normal, I guess. He never told me stuff about You-Know-Who, or his suspicions of spies. I even only found out about the Sectumsempra spell by overhearing him telling Hermione.”
“So, it wasn’t what you had thought originally. That’s no reason to break up.”
“Maybe,” she said staring at her fingers, and picking morosely at a hangnail. “But, it was his choice. He could either start being himself with me, or keep the façade. I represented something to him, I think. I was normalcy. I was what the world had to offer if there was no You-Know-Who. But, he still didn’t see me. I don’t think he ever has.”
“Well, you just need to make him!” Ron exclaimed exasperated. “I don’t understand why you’re just giving up!”
“I’m not!” she said forcefully. “I’m not giving up. I’m taking the higher road, Ron. I’m being the hero and letting him be normal for once. I’m giving him the choice.”
“Sacrificing your feelings for him, so he can go steal my girl, is not a heroic act!”
“If Hermione wants to be with Harry, it’s not my fault!” she shouted. “What are you two playing at if she doesn’t want to be loyal to you?”
“I—How dare you!”
“You’re the one that is making this into that, Ron. Why did Harry choose to be with you and Hermione? You’re his friends, and he’s always been real with you, with her! Why does Hermione choose to be with Harry? I don’t know that. You’re the only one who can answer what happened between the two of you.”
“Well, nothing happened!”
Ginny raised her eyebrow again. “You mean, you never asked her out? After all the fuss last year?”
“Well, I…” Ron flustered, running his hands through his hair. “That’s just the point. I shouldn’t have had to. She made her feelings clear enough. And I, well, I let her get on with it. I didn’t stop her, or retaliate for that canary thing.”
Ginny continued to stare disbelievingly at him.
“Anyway, she knew, she knew she was mine!”
“Ron, please! That whole mine thing is pretty stupid of you. Anyway, how could she know your feelings if you never made them clear? Girls aren’t mind readers either, and it’s pretty easy to second guess yourself if a boy never tells you exactly what he’s feeling.”
“Even if I didn’t, why is she running to Harry? It was just last year that she wanted me!”
“Well…I don’t know. Harry and Hermione have always been close, maybe it just sort of escalated with you guys spending so much time around each other. The point is, you can’t change her decision, Ron.”
“What am I going to do, then?” Ron asked, cringing as he realized that he was getting love advice from his baby sister, whom he had brought here to straighten out.
Ginny smiled sadly and said, “Well, you have to decide who you’re going to be, is all.”
“What?”
She looked at him and said, “Are you a hero, Ron? Can you make the sacrifice for something so right?”
“How is it right? Why am I not right?”
“Well, haven’t you seen them together?” Ginny said sharply. “They’re so happy Ron.”
“Why am I not right?”
“I don’t know. You may have been, but, it’s past that now.” Ginny shrugged. “So, who are you going to be? The hero? Or the villain?”
Ron sat in silence, brooding.
Ginny stood and said, “Whatever you decide, Ron, I know that it’s hard. It’s your chance, though, to see what Harry does every day. Good luck, and I love you.” She gave him a hug and left.
Ron sat staring at the table grain for a long time that night.
Ron was miserable. Nobility didn’t feel so good, he thought. Was this really what it was like for Harry, day after day? Wanting something so badly and it was almost right in front of him, but never able to reach out and take it? Knowing, that if he did, it would be ruined, and he wouldn’t have it anyway?
Was this how Ginny felt about it? How did she keep going? How did she smile and laugh and move on? Seeing her dream played out by someone else….it was torture!
This couldn’t be what being a hero was all about. Self-restraint, denying yourself everything, and getting no recognition for it! None! Zero! Zilch! No, Ron knew what heroes were, and it definitely wasn’t sacrificing everything you wanted in order to let someone else be happy, obliviously happy, that is. Oblivious to you.
Where was all his recognition? Where was his slack? Why didn’t Hermione run over and into his arms now? Wasn’t he the hero now? Isn’t that what she wanted?
He sighed, and once again kicked the chair savagely. Being a hero was just no fun. He started to understand why Harry whined about it back in their fourth year. If you did the right thing, you were miserable. If you did what you wanted, no one liked you, and you weren’t a hero, and you were still miserable.
How did Ginny manage to go through all this, and smile?
He grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and stuck his head in the fireplace. “Ginny?”
“Ron! You scared me.” Ginny mopped the juice she’d been about to drink off her blouse. “What? Did you make a mess of things, yet?”
“No!” Ron said indignantly. “As a matter of fact, I’m the hero here. And it sucks.”
Ginny smiled. “I know.”
“How do you do it?”
“I just…” she shrugged. “I just accept it, Ron. And then I think, it’s not the end. I can have that too. So, Harry wasn’t the one, but do I want to try and make us both miserable just to prove that? No. I want what he has. It wasn’t him that could give it to me, so there must be someone else.”
“So, that’s how you can be so pleasant to him, because you have a new boyfriend?” Ron growled. “Who? I haven’t seen you with anyone!”
“I don’t have a new boyfriend, Ron! Not that it’s your business!”
“Oh,” he demurred. “Well then, how can you be so happy around them?”
“Because I’m happy for them. I’m not a dog in the manger, Ron. I know that Harry and I are over. That means I’m free to find my guy, and he’s free to find his girl. If he does, that’s good. I want him to be happy. If I didn’t want him to be happy, I could hardly have loved him in the first place, could I?”
“Well, I don’t know. Doesn’t it make you even just a little angry?”
“Well, sometimes if I really think about it, it makes me a bit sad that we didn’t work out. But, no, his finding someone else does not make me angry. Like I said, I want him to be happy. We’re kind of mutually exclusive now, you know. His happiness does not make mine, and vice versa. So, it doesn’t hurt me to be happy for him. It would hurt me to be bitter about it, though.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, my being bitter about it, still wouldn’t hurt him. It may just make him relieved that he isn’t with me, because, like I said, I’d have to hate him or at least dislike him to want him to be unhappy. But, my being bitter over him would hurt my chances of finding that same happiness elsewhere. I would just be hurting myself. Delaying my happiness.”
“How can you be sure you’ll find that, though? What if Harry was your only chance?”
Ginny giggled. “Oh, Ron! There’s lots of diverse people and I’m sure that I have more than one chance at happiness in life! Really, it’s just how much two people decide to commit to each other. Any little thing can be overcome if you’re both committed, if you share and communicate with each other. If you respect and love each other enough to do that, there’s nothing you can’t get through, and happiness is yours for the taking!”
“Wow, Ginny. I don’t know if I can have that much hope.”
“Sure you can, Ron. You deserve that.”
He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Then, he said his goodbyes and pulled his head back out of the fire.
He looked around, and straightened the chair.
Harry and Hermione were out walking.
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